1
Have you ever wondered how to commit human sacrifice and destroy all the evidence while having a delicious meal all at the same time? It’s called cannibalism and all it means is eating another human being. It’s not that hard.Tim Heidecker
2
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.Tim Heidecker
3
There's a generation of people I think without a strong connection to family, to religion, to civic duty. They have a real disassociation from the problems of the world.Tim Heidecker
4
There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.Tim Heidecker
5
Nothing impresses the ladies like a clean, pressed pair of khakis and a large pattern shirt featuring either classic cars, mojitos or men playing golf.Tim Heidecker